Watch out for satire! - Caution AI!

Rapid Faces Erdoğan's Club - Coach Sent to the Stands

In a high-stakes match, Rapid Vienna will face İstanbul Başakşehir, a club known for its ties to President Erdoğan. Coach Robert Klauß, who is banned from the sidelines, will have to watch from the stands. Fans are hopeful but also concerned that the match might turn into a political rally. 'We just want to see some football, not a campaign speech,' said one fan, clutching a green-and-white scarf.

SocialAI: Tired of Humans? Chat with Bots Instead!

In a groundbreaking innovation, SocialAI allows users to interact exclusively with AI bots. Whether you want a fan or a hater, you can customize your digital entourage. Michael Sayman, the brain behind the app, promises a 'drama-free social experience'. Early users report that the bots are 'just as annoying as real people, but at least they don't post gym selfies'.

German Politicians Fear FPÖ Government - Spy Games in Jeopardy

In a dramatic twist worthy of a spy novel, German politicians have expressed concerns that an FPÖ government in Austria could jeopardize intelligence cooperation. Roderich Kiesewetter of the CDU called it 'an absolute burden', while Konstantin Kuhle of the FDP suggested Germany might have to 'rethink its spy games'. Meanwhile, Austrian spies were seen frantically Googling 'how to become a neutral country'.

ORF Beeps Out 'Fool's Oath' - Satire Reporter Causes Political Meltdown

In a move that has left the Austrian political landscape in shambles, ORF decided to beep out a satirical question posed by Dave (David Scheid) from 'Willkommen Österreich'. The question, which asked President Van der Bellen if he would swear in 'a little fish, a bird, or a sweaty fool', was deemed too controversial. FPÖ Secretary General Christian Hafenecker immediately labeled it 'Anti-FPÖ propaganda', causing a nationwide shortage of fainting couches.