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Kryptobank Scandal: Investors Demand Refunds in Bitcoin, Receive Monopoly Money Instead

In the latest twist of the Migom Bank scandal, investors seeking compensation in Bitcoin were shocked to receive Monopoly money instead. The bank's spokesperson claimed it was a 'misunderstanding', as they thought the investors wanted 'funny money'. The incident has led to a surge in Monopoly board game sales, as investors try to recoup their losses.

Göppingen Bar Shooting: Police Launch Hunt for Fugitive Fashionista

After a tragic shooting in a Göppingen bar, police are on the lookout for a suspect described as 'dressed to kill'. Witnesses claim the shooter was wearing an all-black ensemble that was 'so last season'. Fashion critics have joined the manhunt, eager to critique the suspect's outdated wardrobe choices.

Biden and Harris Tour Hurricane Helene's Destruction, Mistake it for a New Theme Park

In a recent visit to the hurricane-ravaged areas, President Biden and Vice President Harris were reportedly impressed by the 'realistic disaster simulation' they encountered. 'It's like a theme park, but with more water damage,' Biden was overheard saying. The administration has promised to turn the affected areas into a tourist attraction to boost local economies.

Mexican Soldiers Mistake Migrants for Band Members, Tragic Concert Ensues

In a bizarre twist of events, Mexican soldiers opened fire on a group of migrants, mistaking them for members of a notorious band. The soldiers reportedly thought they were dealing with a rogue mariachi group known for playing off-key. The incident has sparked outrage, with activists demanding better musical education for military personnel.