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French AI Radar to Issue Tickets for 'Driving While Distracted by AI'

In a move that has sparked protests, France plans to upgrade radar systems with AI to catch drivers distracted by AI itself. The new system will issue tickets for offenses like 'checking AI-generated playlists' and 'arguing with GPS directions.' The Automobile Club claims it's a ploy to boost revenue, while the government insists it's about safety. Meanwhile, drivers are preparing by practicing 'AI-free driving' and attending support groups for 'AI addiction.'

Salzburg's New Strategy: Scoreless Games to Conserve Energy for Champions League

Red Bull Salzburg has unveiled a revolutionary new strategy: playing scoreless games to conserve energy for more important matches. After a 0-0 draw against GAK, coach Matthias Jaissle explained, 'Why waste energy scoring goals when we can save it for the Champions League?' Fans are divided, with some praising the team's foresight and others demanding refunds for their tickets. Meanwhile, GAK is considering adopting the same strategy, citing 'less pressure' as a key benefit.

Bolivian Protesters Mistake Soldiers for Uber Drivers, Hold Them Hostage

In a bizarre twist, Bolivian protesters have reportedly mistaken 200 soldiers for Uber drivers and are holding them hostage until their rides arrive. The protesters, loyal to ex-President Evo Morales, claim they ordered rides to escape the chaos but were instead picked up by military personnel. 'We just wanted to go home,' said one protester. The government is negotiating a peaceful resolution, offering free rides for a year to anyone who releases a soldier.

Juventus Celebrates Temporary Second Place with Parade of Inflatable Trophies

In a bold move to celebrate their temporary second place in Serie A, Juventus organized a grand parade featuring inflatable trophies. Fans were thrilled to see the team march through Udine with giant balloons shaped like trophies, as if they had already won the league. Coach Thiago Motta stated, 'We believe in celebrating every small victory, even if it's just for a day.' Meanwhile, SSC Napoli fans were seen inflating their own balloons, just in case.