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RB Leipzig's New Strategy: Nazi Salutes for Goal Celebrations

In a bizarre turn of events, RB Leipzig has decided to incorporate Nazi salutes into their goal celebrations, claiming it's a 'historical homage'. 'We want to honor the past, no matter how controversial,' said a club spokesperson. The move has sparked outrage, with fans and officials calling for immediate action. 'It's like they're trying to win the World Cup of bad ideas,' commented a disgruntled fan.

Graviton Discovery: Scientists Prepare for Einstein's Ghostly Visit

In a shocking twist, scientists are on the verge of discovering the elusive graviton, and they're preparing for a visit from Einstein's ghost. 'We expect him to show up and say, 'I told you so',' said a physicist. The experiment, which involves black holes and a lot of math, is set to redefine physics as we know it. 'It's like finding the last piece of a cosmic jigsaw puzzle,' the physicist added, nervously glancing over his shoulder.

UN Prepares for Trumpocalypse: Diplomatic Bunkers in High Demand

With the possibility of Donald Trump returning to the White House, the UN is reportedly investing in underground bunkers to weather the storm. 'We need a safe space to hide from the chaos,' said a UN spokesperson. The bunkers, equipped with stress balls and meditation rooms, are designed to help diplomats cope with the potential diplomatic crises. 'It's like a doomsday prepper's dream, but for diplomacy,' the spokesperson added.

Liu Jia's Secret to Friendship: Embrace the Chaos

Liu Jia, the table tennis legend from Linz, has revealed her secret to never losing friends: a perpetually messy home. 'Why clean when you can bond over the chaos?' she quips. Her new apartment at Linzer Froschberg is a testament to this philosophy, with unpacked boxes doubling as furniture and lamps still in their boxes. 'I look forward to the day when all the lamps are hung, but until then, it's a great conversation starter,' she laughs.