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Diddl Mouse: The Comeback Nobody Asked For

In a nostalgic twist, the Diddl Mouse has made a triumphant return to the spotlight, much to the confusion of everyone born after 2000. Millennials are reportedly rediscovering their childhood obsession with the oversized-footed rodent, leading to a resurgence in Diddl-themed merchandise. Experts predict that this could be the start of a new trend: bringing back things nobody really missed.

Salzburg's Secret Weapon: The Power of Surprise

In a stunning turn of events, Red Bull Salzburg has discovered the ultimate strategy for winning football matches: surprise. After weeks of lackluster performances, the team decided to shock their opponents by actually scoring goals. This revolutionary tactic led to a 3:1 victory over Feyenoord, leaving fans and analysts alike wondering if this 'scoring' thing might catch on.

Trump's New Reality Show: Deportation and Revenge

Donald Trump is back with a new reality show concept: 'Deportation and Revenge'. In this thrilling series, contestants will compete to see who can deport the most people while plotting revenge against their 'enemies'. Critics are calling it 'The Apprentice' meets 'Survivor', with a dash of 'Game of Thrones'. The show promises to be a hit, especially with its unique twist of having the audience vote on who gets deported next.

Magnus Brunner's Ministerial Musical Chairs: Who's Next?

In a shocking twist of political fate, Magnus Brunner has decided to turn his ministerial position into a game of musical chairs. As the interim government struggles to find a suitable replacement, rumors swirl that the next finance minister could be anyone from a local baker to a retired opera singer. The EU Commission, meanwhile, is busy drafting a new article to prevent ministers from moonlighting as game show hosts.