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EU's New Budget Plan: Reform or Go Home

In a leaked document, the EU has proposed a radical new budget plan: only reform-minded countries will receive funding. This has sparked outrage, with some countries suggesting a new reality show, 'Reform or Go Home,' where nations compete for EU funds by showcasing their best reforms. Critics argue this could lead to a new genre of political entertainment.

Kurz's Cash Back: The New Austrian Game Show

In a surprising turn of events, former Chancellor Sebastian Kurz has been invited to participate in Austria's latest game show, 'Kurz's Cash Back.' Contestants must return questionable payments made before a company's bankruptcy. With 442 payments to challenge, Kurz is expected to be a star player, potentially winning back millions for the creditors.

Regensburg's New Public Transport: Bumper Cars

In an unexpected twist, Regensburg's public transport system has taken inspiration from amusement parks. Two buses collided on the Nibelungen Bridge, turning the daily commute into a thrilling bumper car experience. Passengers were reportedly thrilled, though slightly bruised, and the city is considering adding more 'crash zones' for added excitement.

Molotov Cocktails: Albania's Newest Street Beverage

In a bold move to spice up political protests, Albanian demonstrators have introduced the 'Molotov Cocktail' as the latest street beverage. While some protesters found themselves accidentally on fire, others praised the drink's fiery kick. The Socialist Party, accused of corruption, is reportedly considering launching a competing drink called 'Tear Gas Tonic' to cool things down.