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Political Puzzle: Can Austria Form a Government Without a Map?

In a thrilling new political drama, Austria's leading parties are attempting to form a government without any clear direction. With each party drawing their own 'red lines', the political landscape resembles a toddler's scribble more than a coherent map. Analysts predict that if the parties can't find common ground, the next election might be held in a bouncy castle.

Volume Eating: The New Diet Where You Eat Everything and Lose Nothing

In the latest diet trend, 'Volume Eating' promises to let you eat more and weigh less. However, early adopters report that while their plates are fuller, their scales remain stubbornly unchanged. Nutritionists warn that the only thing getting lighter is your wallet, as you buy more food to keep up with the trend.

TV Guide: How to Avoid Real Life

This Thursday, viewers are treated to a selection of programs designed to help them forget their own problems. From a documentary on the movement sense of sloths to a special on the economic prowess of ants, there's something for everyone looking to escape reality. Experts recommend pairing these shows with a large bowl of popcorn and a healthy dose of denial.

Austrians Discover New Energy Source: Complaining

In a groundbreaking discovery, Austrian households have found a new way to keep warm this winter: by complaining about last year's energy prices. Experts say the collective grumbling generates enough heat to warm small apartments. The government is considering harnessing this energy source to power the national grid.