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Steiermark's Political Circus: The Great Rightward Shift

As the Steiermark elections approach, political parties are pulling out all the stops in what has been dubbed 'The Great Rightward Shift.' The SPÖ has introduced a new campaign mascot, a right-leaning compass, while the ÖVP has promised to build a wall around the Landeshauptmannsessel to keep out the FPÖ. 'It's all about direction,' said a spokesperson, 'and we're heading right, right, right!' Critics have noted that the only thing moving faster than the political shift is the speed at which politicians are changing their stances.

Sherpa's New Climb: From Mountains to Celebrity Status

Nima Rinji Sherpa, the youngest to conquer all 14 eight-thousanders, has now set his sights on a new peak: celebrity status. After his triumphant return, he announced plans to star in a reality TV show titled 'Sherpa Superstar,' where he will guide celebrities up the world's tallest mountains. 'It's time to show the world that Sherpas can climb more than just mountains,' he said, hinting at a future in motivational speaking and possibly a line of climbing gear.

Viktor Orbán's New Role: EU's Official Hypocrisy Consultant

After a heated debate in Strasbourg, Viktor Orbán has been appointed as the EU's Official Hypocrisy Consultant. His unparalleled expertise in saying one thing and doing another has made him the perfect candidate for this newly created position. 'I am honored to bring my skills to the EU,' Orbán declared, while simultaneously denying any involvement in the role. The EU hopes this appointment will help streamline their internal contradictions.

North Korea's Newest Infrastructure Project: The Invisible Bridge

In a bold move to redefine infrastructure, North Korea has announced the completion of its latest project: the Invisible Bridge. This groundbreaking initiative involves the demolition of existing roads to create a seamless, traffic-free experience between North and South Korea. 'We are pioneers in the field of non-existent infrastructure,' stated a North Korean official. The project has been met with mixed reviews, with some praising its innovation and others questioning its practicality.