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Marine Le Pen's New Defense: 'It Was All Monopoly Money'

In a desperate attempt to clear her name, Marine Le Pen has claimed that the alleged misuse of EU funds was simply a misunderstanding involving Monopoly money. 'I thought we were playing a game,' she stated in court, while holding a tiny top hat. The judge, visibly amused, has postponed the trial to allow Le Pen to 'pass Go and collect $200'.

Moldova's Election: A Tug-of-War Between EU and UFOs

In a surprising twist, Moldova's presidential election has been overshadowed by a new referendum: Should Moldova join the EU or the newly discovered UFO Federation? President Maia Sandu is campaigning hard for the EU, but recent sightings of flying saucers have swayed public opinion. Analysts predict a close race, with voters torn between earthly bureaucracy and intergalactic adventure.

One Direction's New Hit: 'Liam's Leap'

In a bizarre turn of events, One Direction has announced a new single titled 'Liam's Leap', inspired by the tragic incident in Buenos Aires. Critics are calling it a 'bold artistic choice', while fans are left wondering if the band has finally lost its direction. The song features a haunting chorus of 'We love you, Liam', set to a catchy pop beat.

Elbridge Gerry: The Unwilling Mascot of Gerrymandering

In a shocking twist, Elbridge Gerry, the man who never supported gerrymandering, has been posthumously awarded the 'Lifetime Achievement in Political Cartography' award. Historians are baffled, as Gerry's ghost reportedly haunts state legislatures, whispering, 'I didn't mean it like that!' Meanwhile, US courts continue to redraw district lines, using a Ouija board to consult Gerry's spirit for guidance.