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Trump Demands Right to Play Chess with Federal Reserve

Washington – In a bold move, Donald Trump has demanded a legal right to play chess with the Federal Reserve. Following the recent decision by the US central bank to lower interest rates, Trump claimed it was a 'political chess move' and insisted that he should be allowed to participate in these 'games.' 'If they want to play chess, they should at least let me join,' Trump said in an interview. He proposed a new law that would require the Federal Reserve to consult him before making any moves, both on the chessboard and in monetary policy.

Astronauts to Vote from Space: 'Houston, We Have a Ballot'

Houston – Since 1997, US astronauts have been able to vote from space, thanks to a special Texas law. This year, SpaceX has announced that they will be providing a new service: 'Space Ballots.' Astronauts will now be able to cast their votes via a secure satellite link while orbiting Earth. Elon Musk, CEO of SpaceX, stated, 'We believe in democracy, even if it means voting from the final frontier.' The new service has been met with mixed reactions, with some questioning the security of space-based voting and others excited about the prospect of zero-gravity polling stations.

Austrians Crowned 'Trainspotting Champions' of Europe

Vienna – According to a recent analysis by the Austrian Traffic Club (VCÖ), Austrians have been crowned the 'Trainspotting Champions' of Europe. With an average of 2,160 kilometers traveled per person per year on trains, trams, and subways, Austrians have left the rest of the EU in the dust. The VCÖ attributes this to the country's love for punctuality and the fact that Austrians have a secret competition to see who can spot the most trains in a year. The winner gets a lifetime supply of Wiener Schnitzel and a golden train conductor's hat.

EU and China to Settle Electric Car Tariff Dispute with a Dance-Off

Brussels – In a surprising turn of events, EU Commissioner Valdis Dombrovskis and China's Trade Minister Wang Wentao have decided to settle the ongoing tariff dispute over electric vehicles with a dance-off. The two officials, inspired by a recent TikTok trend, believe that a dance battle will be a more entertaining and less bureaucratic way to resolve their differences. The event is scheduled for the end of October, and both sides are already practicing their best moves. The winner will get to set the tariff rates, while the loser will have to perform a public rendition of 'Gangnam Style' in front of the European Parliament.