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Russia's New Reality Show: 'Saboteur Casting' on Telegram

In a bizarre twist on reality TV, Russia has taken to Telegram to cast potential saboteurs in the EU. The 'Privet Bot' asks a series of straightforward questions—name, location, military experience—before dropping the bombshell: 'Ever killed anyone?' This new form of recruitment has left European security agencies scratching their heads and wondering if they should start their own talent show. Meanwhile, the 'Privet Bot' continues its search for the next big star in the world of espionage.

Coppola's 'Megalopolis': A Utopian Dream or Just Another Midlife Crisis?

After 40 years of dreaming, Francis Ford Coppola finally brings his magnum opus 'Megalopolis' to the big screen. The film, starring Adam Driver and Nathalie Emmanuel, imagines a utopian city of the future, designed by a visionary architect who can even stop time—though only as a party trick. Critics are divided: is this a groundbreaking piece of cinema or just Coppola's elaborate way of dealing with a midlife crisis? Either way, 'Megalopolis' promises to be a spectacle, complete with grandiose sets, philosophical musings, and a runtime that feels like it spans centuries.

Green Party: 'We're Not E-Car Lobbyists, We Just Play Them on TV'

In a surprising twist, Green Party finance spokesperson Jakob Schwarz declared that the party's newfound reputation as e-car lobbyists is 'almost absurd.' According to Schwarz, the real culprits are the ÖVP and FPÖ, who have spun fairy tales about the Greens' environmental policies. 'The ÖVP doesn't do climate protection voluntarily; we always had to force them,' Schwarz stated, while adjusting his eco-friendly tie. The Greens, it seems, are caught in a political drama where they are both the heroes and the villains, depending on who you ask.

Meta Connect: Zuckerberg's One-Man Circus Unveils Budget VR and Holographic AI

In a dazzling display of tech wizardry and solo showmanship, Mark Zuckerberg took the stage at Meta Connect to unveil the latest in budget VR headsets and holographic AI. The Quest 3S, priced at a mere $300, promises to bring virtual reality to the masses, or at least to those who can afford a slightly expensive toy. Meanwhile, Meta AI has been upgraded to 'Orion,' a name that suggests it might soon be able to navigate the stars, or at least your Facebook feed. Zuckerberg, visibly thrilled, assured the audience that the Metaverse is still a thing, even if no one really knows what it is.